The One Where There’s Only So Much A Toilet Can Take
It’s me. I’m the toilet.
This summer my TV habit has spiraled out of control a little bit. Too broke to go anywhere, all I had was my couch and my six TV subscriptions. Usually, I pride myself for my range. I like emotional stuff (From), inspirational classics (Buffy, Riverdale), the niche gems (Industry) and of course MomTok. Recently though, all remaining sense of content curation just went out the window. To be honest, I can’t fully remember what I watched but I know at some point it was a reality TV show about influencers having to work on a farm for room and board. In Dutch. So, naturally Netflix kept tabs on me.
Previously on my watchlist
It starts off well with people getting hammered and leaving their dignity in Cozumel, Mexico. Which, I suppose, is a good thing considering they would spend their next days at sea swimming in their own feces. After a power outage the toilets stop working with the ship’s sewer system leaking its contents onto the cafeteria floors. Thankfully, the crew has come up with a plan: Number 1 goes in the shower. Number 2 goes into red bags and is then dropped off into bins “in the corridors”.
Some people adhere to that rule, some people don’t and just proceed to use the toilets with no working flush. The chef describes it as “the most nastiest thing I have ever seen in my life.” The passengers were trying to cover their business with toilet paper, so the next one could just shit on top of it.
“So it was layer after layer after layer. It was like a lasagna.”
Mind you, after 24h with no power on a cruise liner in the tropical heat not only the toilets become a problem but the food and water supply, too. And human greed. Which surprises no one, now that we know the lengths people will go to to stockpile toilet paper in a pandemic. What do you do in that situation? That’s right – you open the bar. Nothing could go even more wrong with that idea.
The poop bags, the drifting past another cruise ship, the sleezy maritime lawyer and his cigar… this documentary is the shit.
The … Modern Need for a Disturbing Lynching
And because I ran out of fiction to watch, I moved on to the next doc after that. Remember Empire? Around ten years ago that show was the talk of the town. An all Black cast, NYC, glam, great music, Taraji P. Henson … and an openly gay actor starring as one of the main characters. Jussie Smollett played Jamal Lyon, son of hip hop mogul Lucious Lyon (Terrence Howard). Considering the genre and cultural setting of the show, seeing a Black man out and proud was pretty significant.
So when Smollett was accused of staging a hate crime against himself the uproar was immense. I hadn’t followed the case back then but read somewhere that he was sentenced and figured he was guilty. The whole thing pretty much ended his career and now a documentary is asking for The Truth About Jussie Smollett? I’ll tell you that much, you won’t know it after watching the film. Still, having learnt more about what happened now, I’m convinced of at least this one thing: I don’t think these two are credible sources of what happened.
“Unknown Number is a horror film.”
Until yesterday I hadn’t even heard of Unknown Number. Then I saw this post by Erica Hart. (Don’t watch it if you prefer to go in blind). It’s a documentary about two young teenagers in Michigan who were cyberbullied by an anonymous texter whose real identity left me genuinely upset – but not at all surprised. In fact, I called it pretty early. It’s a harrowing tale about deliberately inflicting deep trauma on people (minors) and admitting little accountability. Long story short, this was me after watching.
What is it with white family dynasties based on the Eastern seaboard?
The latest show of the genre “white wealthy but struggling American family with a huge seaside property” is called The Waterfront. And it’s about a family that runs a fishery that also serves as a front for their drug-smuggling operation. Clever, right?
Two things I have to say about this show: 1) As soon as I saw the small-lipped former high school football golden boy I knew he had a thing for Latinas. 2) I love a chipper psychotic antagonist, it’s my favourite type of villain. Since that is all, you can probably tell it’s not as exciting as Bloodline.
Fast forward: What else I watched
The Ultimatum: Queer Love – boring, I’m ready for a version with men now.
We Were Liars – A show about yet another preppy family dynasty with waterfront property. I hated it, although the end had a positively surprising twist (which I still hated but can’t tell you why because I’d spoil it). Rich white kids not going to jail for a crime they committed ain’t it.
The Glass Dome – Solid Scandi noir miniseries that I started watching to practice my Swedish. My language skills are still shit because that DuoLingo class is over now and I only know how to say “seven sick nurses“ (sju sjuka sjuksköterskor).
The Bear – I’m sorry, I sound like a heathen but time to wrap it up. Give Ayo Edibiri an Emmy for that hospital scene though because she almost made me hyperventilate on a plane (trigger warning for everyone with only one parent that adores them).
Foundation – I thought this could help me fill the Red Rising-shaped hole in my heart now that I’m waiting for the final book. Admittedly, the plot often makes me feel dumb and confused instead of entertained. I’m still watching the new season though because I like to torture myself and it’s very pretty.
Olympo – Everybody looks illegally hot. That’s all I remember.
Too Much – Just enough solid humor and an ex you love to hate: “I think you can’t compete with someone like Gigi Hadid so you have to go in the total opposite direction.”
Previously on my playlist
Because I’m on this non-fiction kick lately I listened to The Atlantic’s Floodlines last weekend, mostly because it has an excellent hook that reeled me right in. Katrina is another example of news I had obviously heard of at the time but never really gotten to understand the immensity of it until way later (until Five Days At Memorial on Apple TV to be precise).
The podcast is from 2020 but since it’s the 20th anniversary of the catastrophe this year, it’s a timely listen – especially considering the deadly consequences of the irresponsible and/or deliberate spread of misinformation by media and authorities.
Previously on my FYP
Remember when I said I was too broke to go anywhere and so I had to just couch-rot and watch every single thing on every single streamer I pay for? Well, that’s still better than ending up in Tunis when all you wanted to go was to Nice. I hope it’s an elaborate skit/case of rage bait, although dumber things have happened to Americans abroad.
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Next on Previously On I will hopefully have found something worthwhile to watch until the new release of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on 13 Nov.
For today’s outro/summer’s conclusion we got:
